Late night ramblings of this aching heart...

So yeah, this is just some musings... Probably none of this will
make too much sense. This blog post is more for me than
anything else. For some odd reason writing a little of the stuff
that's going on in my head just seems to make me feel a little
better.
Tonight I've got far too much rumbling around inside this head
of mine... Its all charging around bouncing into other stuff and just
about to drive me nuts! Of course I'm more than tired, but I'm sure
you all know that rumbling brains aren't very conducive to sleep :/
I'm laying here in this dark room, listening to Lifehouse and trying
to sort through a little of the mess running through my mind.

I can't believe it's been 8 days already... I'm not sure I want to either.
I know it will pass, but I keep expecting to get a phone call from
Grandpa and he'll be telling me some odd random piece of information.
It's amazing that life just keeps plugging away. I know its a good thing
that it does, but every once and a while I get that sort of wish that it
would just stay still for a while.
Grief is such an odd process. It's crazy hard to try and figure out how
to work through this kind of stuff. It's hard to be alone, but it's hard
to be around people. It feels as though everything I do has to be
processed through a thick fog. Stuff doesn't feel like it's penetrating
to my brain yet. Which is probably okay because my brain feels like
that cornstarch-water gloopy slime stuff...
We "prepared" ourselves for this. We all knew it was coming. We
knew the day would come when Grandpa would no longer be chained
down to this mortal life and that he would slip into his transformed
immortal body. We knew it. We watched the "signs" of the time
coming closer until it was upon us. Now that time is up, and I'm still in
a sort of almost disbelief.

I enjoy this silent part of day. Night is peaceful. In the quiet things
rest. Spilling all this stuff onto here my head is even getting a break.
Order is coming and eyelids are getting heavy.
Silence is really a wonderful thing. In fact silence is probably the best
gift I've gotten lately. Whether it's me getting to be silent with myself,
or other people sitting close, being silent themselves and also just
letting me be silent. Not staring at me or having to fill time up with
talk, but just being there. Being a hand to squeeze or shoulder to lay
my head on... Or if you're Rachel, someone to give me a punch on
the shoulder ;)

I'm really glad that God lets me be silent. When I can't thing of a way
to express what's in my heart or mind I can feel his presence just
there. And he waits. So patiently. I'm glad he can hear the silent pleas
as my heart cries. He doesn't ask anything of me. And through
everything just gives and gives. Peace, comfort, strength. I know it
time he will restore full joy too. It's so neat how he reveals himself too.
I love how when I'm not even looking (or even wanting to see) he
shows me I'm special to him and that he's stickin' close to me.
I'm glad the sun keeps rising in the morning. Last Sunday morning I
didn't really want it to shine. It almost felt as if the weather was
mocking the pain we were feeling and I just wanted it to leave me
alone. But the sun is still rising. I'm glad for it now. It shoves off the
dark, and illuminates all the wonderful things that day brings. It
glimmers with the joy I know is coming.

Life's happening again. Last week was packed with cleaning and
getting stuff ready for a funeral and being with family and... well
everything. This week that is all over. Crystal's going back to work,
all the regular weekly activities are going to start again. It's weird
though because the main thing that we spent all our time doing is no
longer here needing us. What do we do with all the time that had been
spent in with Grandpa or anything that went along with that?
We've got some long days ahead.

But I'm giving my burden over to God though. I KNOW that he has very
capable hands and that he's here guiding us through this. I'm keeping
my mind fixed on the promises he's given about "joy coming", or
"his mercies being new every morning", or "his strong right hand
supporting" and all that kind of stuff.

Whew! That felt good. Sorry that this was a dumb post. And I've bared
heart and rambled unintellegibly for long enough. My mind's now
settled to somewhat of a dull roar so I think that means it's going to let
me get some rest now...

Thanks to you all for being good friends and "listening". And for being
there for us in person or in thought this last week. You're helping make
this easier.

Well, here's to a decent night's sleep. G'night all...

SKYDIVING!!! :D

Monday, June 14th, 2010.

The best day of my life so far!
Because I went skydiving!!!!

For years now Rachel and I have wanted to go skydiving,

but you have to be at least 18 in order to go. So, we decided

that for our birthday/graduation gift to ourselves we were

going to go! And of course we wanted to drag other people along

with us! So Crystal, Josh, and our friend Jordan went!

Before we left the house that morning Rachel was so excited

that she was running around and singing to herself *oh, and having

a dance-off with herself* singing her own soundtrack...

In the car on the way there we were SOOO excited!!!

Devyn got to come along too! She was playing shy

for the first little while in the car, but she warmed up

fast enough ;)

We planned to get to the skydiving place a little earlier than we

were instructed (just to make sure we would get there when

we were actually supposed to be there...) But, we ended up

getting to the place WAAAYYY early... Like 1 1/2 hrs before

we needed to be...

Oh well! It gave us time to have some fun and talk!

It was hard, but somehow we managed... ;)

Yeehaw!

Here we are! Yay yay yay yay yay!!!

Some of our *crew*.

This ROCKS!

Of course all of us who jumped had to sign waivers...

We basically signed our lives away... :/

Jordan signing his life away...

Making sure we got all the paperwork correct.

DANGER! Falling Aliens!!!

This is the sign that was on the fence that was around

the dropzone.

The funny little dog-shaved-like-a-lion who kept watch

over the inside of the skydiving center :)

Here we are at our little instructional class...

It wasn't very long, but we learned what we needed to know!

Our class =D

Because the clouds were so low we didn't think we were going

to be able to jump, but we waited around for a while *and

thankfully the place had outdoor games to occupy our time with*

and then the clouds started to lift!!!

Volleyball!!!

Yay! They opened the door to the building that held the

equipment so that we could go get harnessed up!

:D
And, a wonderful surprise! Uncle Mark and his daughter

Anna came by to watch!

Some of our entourage watching the goings on...

Josh getting harnessed up! ME getting harnessed up!
Jordan getting his harness on!
And Criky getting hers on too!

Rachel looks awesome!

Me getting my interview before we got on the plane.

Group picture!!!

Getting the plane all fueled up!

Our pilot!

Going to get on the plane!

Yayyyyyy!!!!

Here we go!
And we're off!

Whoa that plane is really high up there!!

Look at it!!!

No backing out now!!!

ARE YOU READY!!???!!

*cue the little whistly noise you always hear on cartoons

when something is falling from the sky...*

Gaaaa!!! We're falling!!!

Oh it was such an awesome feeling!
The wind resisting you, falling for a LONG time and

still not being CLOSE to the ground, everything!

Oh this is awesome! Whoooooooo!!!!!!

Do you see the tiny black spots? I think that is before

we opened our parachutes!

We got to freefall for around a minute, and then pulled the

ripcords for the parachute to open! Hmm, it's not very

comforting to have the thing you pull to save your life

named a "ripcord"...

And its opening!!

We're still tiny tiny little dots even with our parachutes opened!

Yep, 14,000 ft is a LONG way up! :D

Most of our instructors even let us steer until we reached

5,000ish ft! And they helped us pull all the way to one direction

so we could do some tight spins!

I can't even describe how amazing it was!

It was stunning, and thrilling, and serene, and...

Coming in for a landing!FEET UP!

Whoa!!! Wow wow wow!!!! WHooo!!!

Oh Yeah!!!
That SO ROCKED!

Me and my tandem buddy.

What did you feel like? In the plane? When it was your turn

to jump? What did your buddy do? Did you get to steer?

You pull your ripcord? Wasn't that awesome?!

Oh I want to do it again!!!
Can we take these harnesses off?

Chatter, chatter, chatter.

Oh! Our group is waiting for us! We should go see them!

I love my brother!
I'm so glad he got to go with us!!!

No, honestly I can't wipe the giddy smile off my face!!!

And I wouldn't even if I could!

That was the most fun I've had... EVER!

A good time was had by all! DEFINITELY!!!!!

Okaaayyyy, I know I got carried away. This probably could have made about 5 posts, but what's the fun of that!? So I hope you enjoyed getting to see a little glimpse of our best day ever! :D And have no fear, I'm sure there will be more posts about this... And next time you see any of us, ask us about the whole experience! We can't wait to tell EVERYBODY!!!

Sooo, who wants to go next time???